aosid's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- - i'm still trying to fit it all. it's a boon and a curse that i have so much time to think. really, by all means, i should have filed this yearning away, stuffed it in a back pocket, buried it in the archives, buried it in the ground. but i have to blame this on rigor - chip and scoff and smother and it still stands and breaths and whispers. i had this rare peace tonight, and it didn't just arise from the lack of bellowing and canned insults and dead history and those damned tired scripts. i had this rare peace because it was you and me in the corner, all darkness and hi-hats and not a facade in sight. sure, i maybe scrambled for words to begin with (fear of silence lurks eternal till you name it, banish it) but i sure as hell wasn't scrambling for the right quote, the right mask. and i had my peace because sometimes we'd lean over and drop some quirky observation and sometimes we would sit back and watch the band. and sometimes i would look over when you were focused elsewhere and i would understand why i give you free rein in my daydreams. i have my peace because i still want to hold your hand but i don't feel guilty about it anymore. so maybe i can fit it all. 11:58 p.m. - 2011-10-09 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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