aosid's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- - last night was the night i told him to give up. a warm wind rolled the last leaves off the south hills, but a certain cold weight had seeped into my marrow. i just wanted to be anywhere else - a roaring future in a strange city, the glowing past of the ones i knew. i just wanted to sleep until the thaw. but i was where i was, and there was not one drop of oblivious blood in my veins that wished torture on him. there was some envy, too - he laid out his stupid plans for the thousandth time with near-religious fervor and the dull tired aches in my joints despised him for being deluded enough to care. so when he asked me, "am i crazy for feeling this way?" i had only the energy for a beaten, inarticulate "i don't know." i drove him home in silence. my sudden lack of support, my treachery, bits of it hung in the air. so he adopted a blissful avoidant stare as he pictured his crusade on the rolling pavements, and i divided my furrowed gaze between stop signs and the throbbing behind my eyes. 1:17 p.m. - 2011-11-28 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
||||||