aosid's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- - i finally found the strength to climb over the wall of anxiety i built around the college admission process. the deadlines for the places i wanted to go have all passed. i guess i'm staying in missoula for a while longer. my big city adventure will have to wait another two years. the worst part is how little this surprised me, and especially how relieved i am. my first solid thought after seeing all these expired dates was that i was glad that i wouldn't have to be rejected by any of these places. i am a little disappointed that some of my big weird plans are officially postponed, to be sure, but it turns out that i am horrifyingly capable of swallowing that disappointment. i barely felt it. it was almost subconscious, like i was expecting failure and had already been dealing with it for months. i have a theory that maybe i do have a self-esteem issue 4:19 p.m. - 2014-01-16 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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