aosid's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- - you asked me what i have been writing. and i had to tell you that i haven't been - i've built a wall, one of dutiful living stretched between wild bliss and simple contentment. i tried to lock out the pain and the fear - i never could learn my lessons. i must always invite my enemies in, see them in the light. so here: you've let my roots grow among your ribs, around your dear little heart, and oh god i am terrified that the knots will shift the wrong way, crack your magnificent compassions like so many cheap sidewalks. i told you that i am who i am because i only want to stop hurting people, and amante you are in the clearest danger. this is why i hide the bad parts: people like you, my soft/strong/sanguine teachers, you always suffer my pain so much more sharply than i do. this is what i've been hiding; this is what i fear. 3:04 p.m. - 2014-07-26 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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