aosid's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- - we sit hunched on the curb, breathing deeply and wearily. the misery always peaks around two o'clock. it's when the credits should be rolling, or maybe when the giddy exodus from the bar should start. for us, at least it's the first smoke break. she is a young mother of three, short and tattooed, with a strong work ethic and a sharp wit. she is enumerating what she'll have to buy to join the roller derby team. skates, wrist guards. a custom helmet to cover the gap in her skull from brain surgery. she says, "It's something to do. Way I figure, if you're almost forty and you don't care about life, you've gotta find something." it hits me real hard. i'm always aware of the gaping chasm that is the inherent meaninglessness of existence, but i'm lucky enough to skip along the edge, wary and defiant. the trap i can't avoid is watching anyone else stumble too close. this is why i mustn't give in to sleep. i'll be a lighthouse or a jester or any other arrogant thing so long as it distracts someone, anyone, from the abyss. 8:40 a.m. - 2013-07-02 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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