aosid's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- - it's just like old times, mind racing through every possibility as i wait. i only have the focus to think in mantras. excited beyond measure, terrified beyond words. everything and nothing. i still have a lot of our emails from high school. it's fittingly melodramatic to say that the fear ruled over the blind hope. we could have happened so much sooner if i was a little wiser, a little braver.. but it's mostly for the best. i was stupid and vicious and sad and terrible in those days. i am infinitely glad that i didn't subject her to the terror that i was. and i wouldn't have known just how much i could love her, not without all the strange twists in our road. i wouldn't know this sublime certainty. i'll always have that, even if she has to leave. i'll always be hers. 12:23 a.m. - 2013-07-09 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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