aosid's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- - we kept calling it "the procedure" - the real name was a little too much for a few days. i always thought it would just be a point of idle political debate, never expected to know what it was like. what it is is a birth compressed into three minutes. my lover lay prepared (so to speak) on the table. and then i grabbed her hand and i don't remember much of anything except a crushing hopeless need to carry her through this and everything else and i tried so hard to give her all my words but my throat was caught and she screamed for an eternity and out of the corner of my eye i saw the nurses and the doctor and they were these gleaming heroes, marble statues of fierce warmth, and the only thing they cared about was saving my poor brave lover, so little and strong in this place she didn't belong, and at that moment i would have done anything for those women and then it was over. and our champions filed solemnly out of the room. and we held each other. and we cried. and i've never felt so completely connected to anyone as i did to this woman whom i loved and destroyed 12:39 a.m. - 2014-07-03 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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